Greasy cheeseburger, sleep aid mix create real pain in neck for napper

Remember the Alamo ... at least when you are awake.

So a word of advice: Never eat a huge cheeseburger, take two sleeping pills and try to take a nap.

That’s what I did today.

I sleep weird hours anyway because I work at night, so I can go to school during the day.

The first night I try to flip my schedule is a bear, so I usually need help.

The combination of the grease and mayonnaise that went down so deliciously at the time, coupled with the sleeping pills that would not allow me to wake up when I started having the nightmares just about freaked me out.

I dreamed I was stuck inside a cult, and the members were telling people it was a tourist attraction and then not letting people leave.

The cult was working from the Alamo.

I should have known something was up when there was a long line to get into the Alamo, but nobody was coming out.
That’s how they got you.

Mostly it was operating from the gift shop.

The unsuspecting tourist goes in looking for an authentic Alamo postcard or a sheriff’s badge and BOOM.

The cult leaders have him right where they want him.

Normally, I can wake myself up when I have a nightmare, but like I mentioned, the sleeping pills kept me from doing so.
I was flipping back and forth trying to wake up, and I think I threw my neck out.

I was also probably babbling incoherently in my sleep.

I’m glad there was no one to witness my freakishness.

This, coupled with the fact I was sleeping in my daughter’s room, which is sort of the equivalent of a toxic dump (we are remodeling our shower).

I think the fumes were affecting me.

Maybe that’s why the Alamo smelled like gum wrappers.

I tried to tell people, “Did you know there is a cult operating from the Alamo?” But they wouldn’t listen.

Plus, I was really thirsty in my dream (possibly related to the really salty fries I consumed pre-nap), and I kept dreaming that I was drinking large quantities of bottled water.

Apparently, the people running the cult really liked Dasani.

Then I heard voices calling my name.

This might possibly have had something to do with the fact that a couple of days ago I watched the “Exorcism of Emily Rose.”

That is one scary flick ... especially the scene where she hears voices.
In Latin.

Yeah, that might have had something to do with it.

I’d like to believe it is my vast knowledge of Latin, but I doubt it.

I think it was cheeseburger-induced schizophrenia.

It’s totally preventable ... avoid eating cheeseburgers, and you’ll be fine.

Take my word for it.

And remember the Alamo!