Child’s skewed vocabulary leads to inaccurate description

A few years ago (ok, probably more than a few), Seinfield was dubbed "The show about nothing." Instead of being derogatory, this actually became a clever way of describing Seifield's goal to have no goals for his show.

JERRY: And it's about nothing?
GEORGE: Absolutely nothing.
JERRY: So you're saying, I go in to NBC, and tell them I got this idea for a show about nothing.
GEORGE: We go into NBC.
JERRY: "We?" Since when are you a writer?
GEORGE: (Scoffs) Writer. We're talking about a sit-com.
JERRY: You want to go with me to NBC?
GEORGE: Yeah. I think we really got something here.
JERRY: What do we got?
GEORGE: An idea.
JERRY: What idea?
GEORGE: An idea for the show.
JERRY: I still don't know what the idea is.
GEORGE: It's about nothing.
JERRY: Right.
GEORGE: Everybody's doing something. We'll do nothing.
JERRY: So, we go into NBC, we tell them we've got an idea for a show about nothing.
GEORGE: Exactly.
JERRY: They say, "What's your show about?" I say, "Nothing."
GEORGE: There you go.
(A moment passes)
JERRY: (Nodding) I think you may have something there.

I included this to explain the following: My son Nathan, 11, went to a career fair a few days ago and met a food columnist. Here is their conversation:

NATHAN: So you write a column about food?
FCL (food columnist lady): Yes, I do.
NATHAN: That's cool. My mom writes a column every week.
FCL: Really? What about?
NATHAN: Ummmmm ...
(Insert sounds of crickets here)
NATHAN: Well ...
(Insert the sound of a clock ticking)
NATHAN: (Blowing a gust of air out of his lips) I don't know, really. Nothing, I think.
FCL: What do you mean, nothing?
NATHAN: She never talks about it. I don't really know.
FCL: Oh. Well, is she famous?
NATHAN: Nah ... more like infamous.

For once, I was speechless.

(He told me later that he mistakenly thought that "infamous" meant "not famous." I told him, "No, Buddy. ‘Infamous' in this case means famous for a bad reason, like robbing banks or having really bad credit.")

Thanks, Nathan.

So you see, that's me - the infamous columnist who writes about nothing.

That's so unfair.

In the last semester I wrote about fictional cults in the Alamo, redneck invasions, being mistaken for a waitress, and trips from hell.

Ok, so I guess my columns don't have a meaning or a moral. I'm not trying to win you over to my cause or inform you of the state of the economy (it's bad, in case you didn't know), or save the hump backed slugs.

I guess my goal is to make you laugh for a moment, and maybe forget about your stress for a second or two.

Well ... that's not nothing.

I'm going to give this to Nathan so he can answer a few stinkin' questions about his mom. His job: to keep me humble.